Let Them Tell You No

Confidence is an important attribute of leadership. It enables you to go into discussions with optimism. Great leaders are not moved by rejection and bounce back each time they hear the word "no". In my negotiation training, i share the importance of relationship building being more important than price. Taking a hard-ball stance is negotiation will surely get you a no most of the time.

People respond to confident leadership. Confidence is not arrogance. Confidence is knowing your self-worth and your value. Confidence allows you to speak to any group of people, no matter their background or experience. Confidence gives you power to change atmospheres and command a room with respect. Young people call it "swag". Confidence sends a message you know what you are talking about and people would be wise to listen.

Years ago, someone told me, "Kevin, you know your stuff. It ain't a whole lot of stuff, but you know what you know." I was younger then and just beginning my professional career. We both chuckled, but I was challenged to know more stuff. I did not have to be the smartest person in the room, but people would know I am in the room. I used to give up easily, sometimes crying and becoming despondent when rejected. Now, I pursue opportunities, even if the odds are stacked against me. I have sought contracts, opportunities, and partnerships above my natural abilities. I will not be denied and have removed the word no from my vocabulary. No has become yes on layaway.

Be encouraged. If you are a leader who has faced rejection, don't worry. Regroup, recharge, re-assess, and re-submit. Don't be quick to give up or give in. Know what you desire and go after it. Unqualified people often get opportunities because they are relentless in their pursuit and will not be told no. A steady drip of water will eventually break a rock. If you are working toward a personal or professional goal, don't be moved by the obstacle. Move the obstacle out of your way. Don't let the fear of no prevent you from getting what you want. Go for it.

My wife bought a furnishing for our home that reads, "saying here goes nothing could be the beginning of everything."